In January 2018 I was exactly halfway through my degree at Edge Hill University. Suddenly Grandad Danny passed away, it was devastating.
In March of 2018 my Mum gifted me her Nikon f65 film camera, I was practicing photography with it and really enjoying how analogue the process was.
That summer I began to explore the idea of working on a project about Grandad.
I had no outlet for my grief, so I mustered up the courage to explore how I felt through photography.
FIRST SKETCHES
Initially, I tested out a couple of cameras and film stocks to see if anything resonated with me, or stirred up any ideas for the project I had in mind.
These were very rough and quick exposures taken of Danny's tools that we'd inherited and inside his garage.
They were okay, a starting point really.
What I did find, is that Grandad's tools provoked an emotional response in me.
From a young age and onward I would stand by his tool box waiting for him to shout out the one he needed - I can probably count on one hand how many times I guessed correctly
So I decided to explore this concept further.
THE TOOLS (2018)
This first collection of photographs I shot on Kodak Ektar 100, I wanted to maximise colour accuracy and have minimal grain in the images.
I photographed Grandad's tools, toolbox, working overalls and a shirt he gifted to me a couple of months before he passed.
I also included the flowers from his funeral service.
Some of these exposures still resonate with me to this day.
THE HOUSE (2018)
The second collection of photographs about Grandad Danny I shot with his Agfa Isolette 1 camera. He bought it brand new around 1958, 60 years later it came into my hands as a gift from my Nanna.
This was my first venture into medium format film photography - I was just excited to see that the camera still worked!
Here I captured parts of their house that stir up memories of Grandad.
THE FILM (2019)
Within a year of Grandad passing away, I visited his garage before we cleared it out.
I shot some footage, with no intentions of doing anything substantial with it. Yet, when I returned to university, I found myself drawn to the idea of creating one of my final film submissions about him.
So I set out to represent how I felt about his death and, subsequently, how I found myself remembering him.
This is for you, Danny.
A short, experimental film about grief.
THE CUP (2023-)
This third collection of photographs is from an ongoing series in which I am focusing on a cup that Grandad used to keep by his bedside table.
As far back as I can remember he always drank out of that cup. I always thought the penguins represented my Nanna and Grandad, holding hands.
Only one cup remains now, it's strangely comforting finding it in the cupboards.
For this series, I've placed The Cup in places where Danny was. In some instances, where he remains. The Cup can be seen above, stacked among a set of cairn stones where we scattered his ashes. "Twa' Lads" as the cairn stones are locally known, situated on Winter Hill - one of Grandad's favourite walking spots.
THE HOUSE - Continued (2024)
6 years after Grandad's passing, I started to photograph the house again. Subtle changes have been made over the years, but it still feels like he could appear any minute.
I'll double back into a room, thinking I caught him out the corner of my eye, or I hear him tinkering away in the garage and singing.